Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
There's always time for handjobs
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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