hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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