In the future we'll all be gay
i already hear my dad disowning me
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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