dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
