I heard we made out
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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