i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
