I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
