i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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