you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
