i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
