her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Acid is not a monday night drug
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
