Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
