this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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