Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
