wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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