That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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