my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
