my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
