Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Randomize
