He had one of those small greek statue penises
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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