Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
