i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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