Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
