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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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