please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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