i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
