the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I wear drunk well.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
