I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
