Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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