You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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