He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
