How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
