You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
