I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
