bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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