The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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