Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
