yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
