can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize