Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
