his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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