Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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