My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
