Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
