It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize