So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
