There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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