Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
If that was your dad, he is hot
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
