i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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