i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
