mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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