if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
