Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
