I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
