And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
