It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
