Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
