white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
