Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
