It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
