I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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