Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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