...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
