you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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