I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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