Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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