There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
