I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
