i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
