bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
two words: eviction party
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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