good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
