that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I intend to get homeless drunk
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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