I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
