YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
