ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
