dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
so let's talk penis.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
