So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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