Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
